Rituals for self-care #11

Warming, aromatic oils, Haiku and meditations for peace: micro-moments of self-compassion for the festive season.

For those new here, each month I share a personal reflection and theme, along with practices and self-care tips to nurture your body, mind and heart.

Photo by Georgia de Lotz on Unsplash

Secateurs at the ready. I’m heading out to a festive wreath-making workshop this morning (weather-permitting) which has become something of an annual tradition. As well as the chance to get creative, what I truly love about this event is the simple sense of community. Volunteers organise and run it to raise funds for their little village hall nestled in the Yorkshire Dales -  the seasonal foliage is ready-gathered by a group of ladies who walk together, a local florist guides us novices on how to place and fix the greenery and ribbons (mine nevers looks quite as profesh), homemade mince pies and glasses of warm mulled wine are shared. I’ll be wrapping up warm though as the hall is always on the ‘brisk’ side, especially now the mercury has dipped below zero.

The wintry weather looks gorgeous though, doesn’t it? Everything has been a little frosted here this week, Narnia-esque on the school run each morning. Nature is noticeably quieter, in hibernation. It feels like a contrast to the gathering pace of the festive season.

How are you feeling? It’s a funny old time of year, isn’t it? There’s the magic and wonder and excitement, especially with little people in the household. There’s the overwhelm of all. the. things. to. do and how to fund it all. There’s maybe guilt this year about celebrating while others suffer. And by contrast, it’s party season filled with merriment and togetherness. And, so too, the festivities always seem to feel a little sentimental, remembering people and times of Christmas past, feeling an absence in a room full of people. 

Joy and sadness. Wonder and horror. Love and loss. Excitement and worry. Gang’s all here. Just like we celebrate the joy and light of Christmas at the darkest time of year, all these contrasting emotions can co-exist at one time. 

You have permission to feel it all. 

Easier said than done, though right? We want to cherry-pick the love and joy and magic, look the other way when it comes to sadness, loss, anger and all the “bad” feelings. And, even more so at this time of year when the expectation is to be merry and bright. Tricky indeed if you’re just not feeling it.

This is conflict on the inner landscape. Trying to fight it, to feel only the good and deny the bad creates chaos. Try to stuff it down and the body speaks. Anger and worry and panic is language, it’s wanting to be heard, craving safety.

Befriending all the feelings - acceptance - is, as Buddhist teacher and writer Jack Kornfield puts it, “the beginning and end of spiritual practice”.

“When we let go of our battles and open our heart to things as they are, then we come to rest in the present moment. This is the beginning and the end of spiritual practice. Only in this moment can we discover that which is timeless. Only here can we find the love that we seek. Love in the past is simply memory, and love in the future is fantasy. Only in the reality of the present can we love, can we awaken, can we find peace and understanding and connection with ourselves and the world.” 

Jack Kornfield

We’re in vata season, the Ayurvedic dosha (constitution) ruled by air and space. It is light, dry, sharp and cold and can exacerbate a tendency to feel flighty or anxious. That air and space needs a grounding as counter-balance. Instead, our traditions seems to add to the vata-ness.

This month’s prompt is to find a little peace amongst the chaos. That might feel like a lofty reach right now but the invitation is to zoom right in, to find peace in the internal world.

As a counter to the flighty, airy-ness of vata, can you invite in little moments of stability and groundedness and move into harmony with this time of year - a time when our natural inclination is to hibernate? Can you allow it all in this festive frenzy - all the imperfectly perfect thoughts, feelings and emotions, listening to your body’s language.

I wish you a peaceful Christmas.

Emma x

This month you’ll find me…

Practising this:

Butterfly

Yin yoga poses, by nature, are slow and steady and ideal for vata so, really, any yin pose would be a good practice for this wintry season. I’m opting for a Butterfly pose as it targets the hips and pelvis, home to the root chakra linked to our primal need for safety and stability. 

Bring the soles of the feet together and allow an opening of the hips. From here, play around with this to make it right for your body - you can practice this as a seated forward fold for a gentle stretch of the back (which feels extra cocooning) or practice it reclined (as I am doing here). Either way, it can be nice to add some support underneath the knees and, for the chilly nights, adding a blanket so you’re cosy warm.

As always, adjust the pose for any contraindications. Click here

Using this essential oil:

Neroli

This oil is my pick this month as it’s described as “essential for soothing agitated nerves…and relieving feelings of grief and despair.” The oil comes from steam distillation of hand-picked, white flowers of the bitter orange tree and has an exotic floral scent. I’ve used it in a facial oil blend this month which not only smells fancy but is thought to improve elasticity of the skin. (Here’s hoping I look ten years younger next time I see you ;-) )

More info here

Making time for:

Playing with Haiku

Simply as an exercise in writing for fun, I’m going to write a festive Haiku or two. I remember loving this when I was taught it in school and was reminded of this in a post by

This is it. (Life, by Beth Kempton)

(which you can read here). On the theme of finding grounding presence in the moment, Beth says:

“There is also something else that reading and writing haiku has always done to me - or for me - which is to bring me into the present in an instant.”

Do you fancy joining me in “capturing the poetic beauty of beholding such a delicious sliver of experience?”

Let’s Haiku together. (I’ll add my novice attempt in comments below).

Recent favourites:

Enjoying: 

Giving my dry, pale skin a little boost with - my old favourite - warm oil. I like to use a heavier jojoba oil at this time of year and have added a little black pepper essential oil for warmth. It’s a slightly masculine scent but its heat counter-acts the cold, dry vata.

Listening to:

I first heard Buddhist monk Thich Naht Hanh reciting this prayer for the end of suffering while in meditation at a yoga event and found it really moving. It feels appropriate with all going on in the world and at the feast of Christmas to share this with you. It invites compassion for all living beings and the intention is to create an energy of peace. 

Listen here: Great Bell Chant

Sunday Rest:

If you end the weekend feeling as frazzled as you did at the start, you might like to join one of the Sunday Rest get-togethers I’m hosting each Sunday evening on Instagram Live. My intention is to share short self-care practices to find micro-moments of presence. Self-care doesn’t have to be fancy and time-consuming: these short practices are a moment to re-set after the weekend and to begin the week ahead with mindfulness.

Catch up on Week 1 here: Releasing the weight of the world - self-care for the upper body.

Catch up on Week 2 here: Finding ease and releasing chronic tension - a practice for the lower body.

I’ll be live HERE each Sunday until 17th December 8.45-9.00pm.

Coming Soon:

Breathe Your Vision: 20th January 2024, 1-4.30pm (Kirkby Lonsdale)

Begin 2024 with intention. This workshop will create space for compassionate reflection, followed by a dynamic breathwork circle to release stagnant energy and to invite your higher wisdom to guide you. After light refreshments, bring your intention to life with a crafty vision board-making session. Includes workshop, refreshments and materials. Investment £41.50pp

Book HERE

Reconnect To Self Retreat: 3rd February 2024, 10.30am - 5pm (near Kirkby Lonsdale)

A transformational day retreat to connect deeply to your own wisdom and intuition. Timed to coincide with the celebration of Imbolc, the return of light and new life. The day will include a sister circle, dynamic breathwork and sound healing, along with ample time for personal reflection and time to connect with others. Lunch and goody bag included. Investment £75pp.

To enquire or book, contact Kat: katdelaneysound@gmail.com