Social Rest with Emma Jupp

What happens in circle, stays in circle. I talk with Emma Jupp about social rest and the healing power of intentional connection

I believe that, if you learn to listen, your body tells you who is for you. Have you ever had the feeling of something being just a bit ‘off’ around someone? Or, in contrast, those people that you love being around so much that you miss them before you’ve even left their company?

The fancy term is ‘neuroception’ - your body scanning to tell you if you’re safe or not. While you might not be in actual danger, on some level your nervous system is responding.

As we explore social rest today, you might assume it’s spending time alone. Although that can be what you need, social rest is actually about seeking out meaningful connection and intimacy with people that nourish you.

Social rest is intentional. It requires wisdom - to recognise people that revive you and those that don’t, who may even leave you feeling drained.

I invited the divine Emma Jupp as my guest on this topic today for two reasons. Firstly, as you’ll read below, she runs the most beautiful ‘sister circles’. I’ve loved sitting in circle with her and the women she gathers, so much so that I cried through most of the first one I attended. It felt so unfamiliar to be ‘safe’ in a group of women in this way and yet so natural and ancestral at the same time. It is Emma’s gentle energy that creates that sense of safety.

And that’s the second reason I invited her. I am lucky enough to call Emma a friend (her friendship was the best thing to come out of lockdown as we met on our daily walks!) and she is one of those connections that is nourishing to the soul and so is the ideal person to chat to about social rest.

Enjoy reading a little more about why women’s circles are so soothing and, with some tips from Emma, how you can put it into practice with your girl gang. Over to Emma…

Em, please can you tell everyone a little about yourself.

I’m Emma. Mummy and wife. Transformational coach and holder of space.

What does rest mean to you?

To me, rest means restoration. I experience rest in both states of being and of doing. For example, I feel rested when I'm meditating, relaxing in the bath, at a sound healing session. I also experience rest when I'm gardening or walking in nature. Anything that helps me to restore myself I see as rest. Like many women in our society, I definitely experience resistance when it comes to prioritising rest AND I feel and experience huge shifts in my vibration when I really give myself permission to rest. 

Tell us a little about your women’s circles and how they can be a space for social rest.

Sisterhood circles, sometimes known as women's circles or moon circles, are sacred spaces. Circles are a way of gathering in community with meaning, intention and purpose.  The origins of the circle can be traced back thousands of years to ancient times with the first circles stemming from African roots. These early circles were spaces created to support women during their time of menstruation. 

The intention of gathering in a modern-day circle is for women to feel seen, safe, held, witnessed and heard as they journey throughout life. Circles are a place of refuge and rest. A place where the demands and pressures of the outside world are absent, just for now. A space for us to go inward, in community, to reconnect to ourselves and return to 'home'. I've heard circles described as a "refuge for the spirit of the feminine" which sums up these spaces perfectly to me.

What should I expect to happen?

There is a specific flow to a circle as the women that gather together are guided on a journey to connect deeper and deeper within. Circles are always very different and will vary with the energy of the circle holder, the dynamic of the women there and the practises used. In my circles, we meditate, we journal, we pull oracle cards and share - although there's never any pressure to share in circle, it’s simply an invitation. We sometimes partake in ritual and gentle movement practises. The beauty is that no two circles are the same!

What is always a constant though is the trust and respect that is established between the group. What is shared in circle, remains in circle. It’s a sacred space.

Photo by Becca Tapert on Unsplash

What are the benefits of being part of a sisterhood circle? What is it that you want people to know about this practice?

Being held in loving community, within sacred space has many beautiful benefits. Firstly, gathering in this way elicits the 'tend and befriend' response - when we are stressed, overwhelmed or anxious, reaching out for social support and nurturing others is wired within our nervous systems. Circles provide the perfect sacred, non-judgemental and loving environment to gain perspective on our life problems and challenges as we are held and witnessed by others. Even the very act of coming to circle - taking 2-3 hours away from the demands of everyday life - is an beautiful act of self love. As women arrive to the space, I often hear their audible exhales as they walk through the door as they take in the scent of the room, the candlelight and gentle sounds. They can enjoy a cup of herbal tea and chat to their ‘sisters’ before the circle opens. Witnessing women's shoulders drop as they acknowledge how much they needed this scared time and as they allow all their responsibilities to pause for a while is something I’m honoured to witness each time.

How did you come to offer this?

I was called to set up a sisterhood circle in my local community after experiencing the deeply healing power of being held in a community of women whilst I completed my coach training in 2021. So much personal healing, growth and transformation took place for me during this time and I often thought to myself throughout my training that all women should have access to this!! It was during a beautiful meditation at the end of one of your yin classes, Emma, that the Universe said to me “set up your own circle”. I procrastinated for a while and finally the Universe nudged me and, by chance, put me in contact with a wonderfully embodied sister based in Scotland who had been holding circle for years. I loved her energy and went on to train as a circle holder with her (@jennyroselove).

What value do the sisterhood circles bring to you personally?

Holding sacred space feels like a calling to me. It is such an honour and privilege to be with women in this way; to provide a space for social rest, to be powerfully heard and witnessed exactly as we are; to watch as friendship form between women who were strangers before coming to circle. As a space holder myself, I find being in circle nourishing for my own well-being too. I adore crafting my circles beforehand and delighting in the unknown of what will unfold as each one is unique and special. I love experiencing the energy shifts in the room - before and after circle. The texture always changes.

Sisterhood Circles are growing in popularity across the country as women are beginning to gather again in this way, as they did many years ago. I would love for every woman to have the opportunity to join a circle in their hometown for there is no safer space for a woman to be held than in sacred circle.

What would be your version of perfect rest?

For me it’s in community. Some of the most deeply restorative periods of rest I have experienced have been on retreat involved in restful 'activity' such as meditation, sound baths, breathwork. The practices combined with the deeply-valued social interactions and social rest around a campfire with my fellow retreat-goers is nourishing for my soul.

Arriving at Emma’s sister circle

How can people put this into practice?

I really encourage you to experience the healing power of a women’s circle and you can do this in your own home!

Invite a few friends over, ones that you really love and want to connect more deeply with. Consider the space where you’ll gather - you can make it feel sacred using essential oils, incense, beautiful lighting etc. To keep it simple, you could open your circle by listening to a meditation together (I recommend Insight Timer) and then share some journal prompts with the group. Once everyone has had time to reflect and journal on these prompts, create some space for sharing.

It can be so healing for someone to share from the heart and be heard and witnessed in this way. If you or your friends have any oracle cards, you could each draw a card to see if there’s any divine insight for you. And, of course, take time to enjoy your favourite beverage together.

At this time of year, it could be beautiful to do this in your garden surrounded by nature.

PRACTICE: As Emma says, replicating the intimacy and feeling of being held in a circle is a tricky one to replicate online. You have to experience it! And so, Emma has shared some tips on how you can host your own circle with friends and loved ones. Check it out HERE

You can connect with Emma on Instagram HERE. If you are in the South Lakes area I’d highly recommend attending one of her Sister Circles. She gathers the most beautiful people together and creates a space filled with such gentle energy.

Comment below on what connection with ‘sisters’ means to you? Or share this post with someone who is reviving for your soul.