Rituals for self-care #16

Hello dear reader. If you’re new here, I’m Emma - a trauma-informed, therapeutic yoga teacher and somatic practitioner. Each month I share practices and self-care tips to nurture and nourish your body, mind and heart. I open with a personal reflection and insight on the theme for the month. Subscribe for these posts, as well as monthly meditations and live gatherings.

Here’s this month’s quiet-time in a nutshell:

• Soft, unhurried, sensory: starting the new year in being mode.

• Soothing anxiousness with self-havening.

• Deepening moments of prayer with warm and woody scent.

• Reframing gloomy days, community meditation and belting out classics.

Softly, softly.

If December was the month of doing, let this be your invitation for 2025 to begin with being.

But wait, “being” - what does that even mean?

During yoga training, our teacher posed this question in our philosophy class: “who are you without your identity?” Strip away your name, nationality, gender, race, religion, age, roles (parent, child, sibling, citizen), titles etc etc. Who are you? The you that was in existence before all of that, from the point of conception and, spiritually, before?

I see being as any practice that allows you to connect with that small, quiet voice of the Self, with the essence of you.

Out of curiosity, this week I took a straw poll on Instagram, asking: “what activities bring you a sense of ease or rest?”. The responses - walks in nature, cuddles with a pet, snuggling up with a good book, listening to beautiful music, yoga, meditation, gardening - all nod to this sense of being without condition (or identity). Notice the things that nourish most are the simplest things: connection, nature, meditative moments. 

It reminds me of Paulo Coehlo’s story of the fisherman and the businessman - if you’re not familiar, it’s worth the 1-minute read. The moral of the story is that true wealth and riches are often life’s simplest pleasures. We might chase the trappings of wealth but really what we crave is the freedom to enjoy a full expression of being.

January is the perfect time to find a slower pace, to explore moments to simply be. A time, unlike the month before, to be unhurried and to find a gentler rhythm.

The invitation this month is to seek softness.

Maybe you’re already embracing hibernation mode: early bedtimes, wrapping up in cosy blankets and savouring slow-cooked meals. Or maybe you’re goal-focused and setting resolutions and milestones for the new year. Either way, find a softness to it. The act might be the same but the approach differs: soft, easy, slower, more present. As my breathwork pal Shelley Blaze put it recently, choosing an act of “devotion over discipline”.

Rather than just doing, noticing the subtle, sensing. 

Let me share, as an example, when I taught some primary school-aged children meditation using….. chocolate (always a winner!). I placed a small chocolate into the palm of each child’s hand and they were asked not to eat it. I guided them to tune into their senses - the weight in their hand, the colour and shape, parts in light and shadow, the smell, the texture on their tongue and, finally, the taste. A simple chocolate had them tune into the sensory experience of something they may have done many times before.

It illustrates the point: softness allows you the chance to cultivate a better connection to your body, your internal landscape. Like the chocolate, you can appreciate the sensory experience and the simple pleasures in ordinary things.

This month’s self-care rituals offer a few ideas to embrace a softer January. Tread tenderly.

Emma x

This month you’ll find me…

Practising this:

Havening

Self-havening is a really gentle and simple technique that uses soothing touch to the face, arms and hands to calm dysregulation in the nervous system. It evolved into a practice to treat trauma and negative emotions, like stress and anxiety. It echoes some elements of yoga, like palming - where heat is generated by rubbing palms of the hands together and placing on the body - and it’s both calming and a gorgeous act of nurturing yourself.

You can simply do that - warm the palms of the hands and place over the eyes, the neck or shoulders, allowing the warmth to soothe you - or follow this video that combines touch and guided meditation here.

Using this essential oil:

Sandalwood

If you’re wanting a peaceful moment, sandalwood is a go-to oil. It smells divine with a rich, woody scent which makes it really grounding and calming. It’s also been proven to help improve focus and clarity which is why it’s been linked to spiritual practices for centuries - it can deepen a meditative practice. 

Find more here

Trying this:

Community meditation and journalling

To establish a better habit of meditation I’ve joined the Artist Morning community which gathers online twice a week (Wednesday and Friday) to meditate and then, in quiet community, to journal from a place of groundedness.

Recent favourites:

Reading:

Self-Care for Winter by Suzy Reading.

I was gifted this book for Christmas and have enjoyed dipping into its steps for “thriving in colder months”. If you’ve had your fill of the gloomy winter days, this book suggests a few ways you can reframe the season as a positive, embracing the shorter days and honouring lower energy levels in the body with gentle movement. It’s a light read before sleep and is so beautifully illustrated - a gorgeous gift.

Listening to:

This spot has almost become a feature on old songs I want to dust off. This month is no exception - as I write this I’m listening to the silky voice of Joan Armatrading singing Love and Affection. (I may also be belting out that bass-y “oh baby” too 😂)

I’d love to hear about YOUR little rituals of self-care: what have you tried that brings you into a place of ease and calm? Share with the community in comments below.

Coming up:

• 12th January, 7.15-8pm: Restore, an in-person monthly workshop that combines yin yoga, pranayama and aromatherapy to rest the body and soothe the nervous system.

• 18th January: Yoga Nidra for peace and quiet. A short, 10-minute guided meditation to create space for inner peace and stillness. Sent to all subscribers morning of 18th.